The Four Greatest Lies of Success

There are many pleasures in life that bring happiness. After more than 20 years of mentoring and coaching people from all walks of life, I have found that people seem to be happiest when they are in the process of achieving; when they are accomplishing something that is tremendously important to them. It’s the anticipation of getting your intended result … knowing you are on the right track … moving forward … in momentum … that makes you the happiest.

Do you remember when you bought your first car? Do you remember how you felt in the weeks, days and hours leading up to the purchase — that period of time when you knew you were going to get it, but you were still working on the financing or delivery?

These feelings are the essence of my definition of success.

Do you remember the promise you made to yourself and others about how the car would never see rain; you would never eat in it or abuse it in any way?

Then what happened after you got the car? Do you remember how those feelings slowly diminished? If you were like me, it only took a couple of weeks before you were driving through mud, eating a burger and fries and yes, back in those days, puffing away on a cigarette.

Achieving the result itself has such short-lived pleasure.

The essence of being truly alive comes from falling in love with the pursuit of your dreams … always stretching … always in momentum … always expecting the best.

Cultural Paradigms

The following are what can be called “cultural paradigms,” meaning they are the hidden rules of society. Sometimes they are in our face, placed there by our parents or other authority figures. Other times they are just the rules of the road; not so bold, but always there.

1. Desire Creates Success
   Most people confuse motivation with desire. We think because we want something badly enough, we will have the energy to get it.

   Yet, how many people do you know that have a strong desire for a great deal more in their life?

   And … how many of them have had that desire for a long time?

   How many are achieving it? The fact is, almost everyone desires health, wealth and happiness — and almost no one achieves all three. How many people do you know who even have two?

   Desire has absolutely NOTHING to do with motivation. Desire only creates the yearning for something, but not any of the actual magical energy it takes to stay on the path toward achieving it.

2. Hard Work Creates Success
   Do you want to be successful? Then work hard! But haven’t you been working hard? How many people do you know have been working hard their whole life? If you worked twice as hard as you do now … if you worked twice as many hours every day … would you be successful? (Or would you be divorced or dead?)

   I am not advocating not working hard. It just does not necessarily lead to you getting what you want. It is a great asset, but not the answer we have been led to believe it is.

3. Being a Good Person Creates Success
   Be a good person; I am not advocating anything else. But what does being a good person have to do with success? How many successful jerks do you know? Haven’t you seen the evidence that “money has no conscience?” It doesn’t care where it goes. Neither does health, and in many domains of knowledge, neither does wisdom.

4. Getting a Good Education Will Lead to Your Success
   Again, I am not advocating not getting as good an education as you can. Yet the world is filled with educated derelicts. Education does not insure anything. It confirms that we know how to study and pass tests. The age-old truth of getting great grades and getting into the best college is as good a strategy as working hard and being a good person. But it will not necessarily lead you to the good life.

THEN WHAT DOES LEAD ME TO GETTING WHAT I WANT IN LIFE?

The Secret to Success
Success is not getting everything you ever wanted, but rather moving forward toward what you want. Being in the process of achievement, and being in love with the process.

If thousands of people have found the secret to success, then it’s got to be self motivation. They may not know it as self motivation. Self motivation is that mysterious concoction of belief, confidence, positive expectations and creativity — a seeming abundance of physical, mental and emotional energy — that leads us to act powerful, naturally propelling us toward our goals.

Think About It
If you could get yourself motivated enough …
And keep yourself motivated enough …
What do you think you could achieve?

I love teaching and coaching people how to manage their self motivation to create a flow of desired results in their lives. That’s what my Vision Workshop is all about. Join me on April 5th in Orange County, CA for my 2013 Vision Workshop. This workshop is an introduction to vision work, including core values, gifts, life purpose and self-motivation. Learn more about this event and how to registration today!

– Richard